Flutterbye
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Matt wished there was something he could do to help the blond, something to ease the pressure he felt, but there was nothing Mello would let him do. He wished, more than anything, that he could take away Mello's pain and frustration. Oneshot


**Disclaimer**: I don't own death note and never have**.**

**AN**: So yeah. This did not write the way I expected at all considering I was trying to go by the lyrics of the song. Instead it turned into something completely different than what I wanted, but the song still hold emotional value so whatever XD.

**Sugested Listening**: Flutterbye **by** Ther Hermit

~Flutterbye~

Matt's eyes snapped open of their own accord, something in the night not so still and while it was quiet, it had awoken him. Carefully snatching the gun from under his pillow he quietly made his way from his room and out into what should have been the darkened living room.

But it wasn't dark.

All the lights were on and the adrenaline beginning to flood his system seemed to vanish in an instant. He didn't say a word to the other occupant of the room, he didn't even move other than to lean against the doorframe, gun tucked under his arm with his arms crossed.

He wished nights like this didn't exist.

But they did, and he had no way of stopping them.

He watched as those gloveless fingers ran hesitantly over the not so newly healed burns and the way those eyes looked so damn hollow as they stared into the handheld mirror. The figure was shirtless, the burns creeping down his neck and shoulders visible, with trousers loose and unzipped to expose more of the leathery scars that ran across the previously smooth skin of their hip and even further down; how far down they went, and what they had discolored Matt didn't know.

What he did know, was that scenes like this happened more often then he liked. And yet every time he was woken from his sleep he never connected it with what was before him; never wanting to believe that he would have to watch it unfold silently once more.

The same way it always did.

Ever since Mello had come back from the explosion.

Matt had caught him, on what he had thought was the first time, fingering the bandages that covered his face. Mello had such an odd expression as he looked into the mirror, and he was so damn focused that he hadn't noticed Matt for a good ten minutes despite Matt being hardly five feet from him.

But it had only gotten worse. Mello's mood had hardly improved since then, that being much darker and angrier than before, and that much more obsessed with Kira and Near. Matt had hoped that once the bandages had come off that things would improve; but if anything they were worse, because now Mello could actually touch his wounds.

He'd once heard Mello mumble that they were the physical representation of the taint that infected his soul. Matt thought it was utter bullshit, though he hadn't told him so.

He watched as Mello's hesitant fingers became bolder, harsher, as they pressed into the scars; his expression never once changing. Matt always wondered if Mello could feel anything in those affected areas but he never asked, knowing Mello would be anything but happy to answer him.

Mello slowly dragged his fingers down to his shoulder and Matt winced as his nails were dug in. They scraped in a downward motion, pulling skin from his body and leaving small lines of blood that never so much as dripped.

It wasn't something he hadn't seen happen before.

Matt always wanted to jump in and stop the blond from hurting himself, but he knew it wouldn't be appreciated. Knew that Mello didn't want Matt to see him that way, didn't want anyone to see him that way.

Mello's face contorted into anger a few minutes later, shoulder red and raw once more, and he hurled the mirror across the room, glass breaking on contact and the plastic frame denting with the force of the blow.

Mello's breaths had turned into silent gasps and he buried his face into his hands as though hiding the sight would make it go away.

Everything was always clean in the morning or whatever time Matt awoke the next day. There were never any traces to suggest what he'd seen had ever happened, though he knew it had. Matt always replaced the mirror, and Mello either never noticed, or didn't connect it to Matt seeing him crack like that.

The one time Mello had lost it in front of him, for a split second, he had pulled Mello close and tried to reassure him, but Mello had simply shrugged free of his grasp, easily pushing his arms away and called him a 'useless bastard'.

Matt wished there was something he could do to help the blond, something to ease the pressure he felt, but there was nothing Mello would let him do. He wished, more than anything, that he could take away Mello's pain and frustration.

But short of them getting rid of Kira and Near, and even then, he could only stand back and watch as Mello unraveled at the seems.

-End-

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